Blog #3 Mitchell

It was an average summer day in the middle of July. I was walking to take the trash out. I was supposed to have taken the trash out the day before but forgot and the bag today was overloaded. I was watching the bottom of the bag as gravity took its toll and stretched it out. Suddenly I noticed a swarm of ants on the sidewalk. Individually they were really small but there must have been several thousand. They were dark black and gave the sidewalk a shadowy appearance. They were a small leaf but they had a superfluous amount for that small task. Well my bag was ripping so I softly ran to throw it in the trash. When I came back to examine the ants some more they were all gone. I didn’t know where they could have gone or how it was even possible for thousands of ants to disappear in a matter of 30 seconds.

The ant disappearance kept me thinking all day. I was a little concern one where they had gone. I didn’t like ants and now I was kind of freaked out by them. At dinner I told my mom and dad about my experience and they admitted it was a little weird but thought I was a little paranoid. My was a bit of an ardent character, and tried to make me feel good by telling me about our new ant problem in the basement. I didn’t think it was funny.

After dinner I grabbed a book I was reading for school and head for the bath. Once I got the perfect temperature I plopped in.  The water was calm and the ant worries were clearing out of my head. I was slowly scanning towards the bottom of the page when a small ripple moved across the water. My eyes shot to find the source. A small ant had fallen out of the spout followed by another and another. Soon they were streaming out into the water in. They were dank as if they had been waiting in my pipes for days. I dropped my book and hopped out the bath. They had made it to the floor and started to come from under the door. I was surrounded from all sides. They were attacking me in unison as if controlled by some form of authority. A couple bit at my toes and the pain was horrible. Like someone was pricking with needles and eating my skin. I hopped onto the toilet. The floor was now dark black and the white tile floor was nowhere to be seen.

I noticed they were so small that surface tension of the water in the tub held them up. A couple more bit at my legs. I opened the cabinet and grabbed a straw I had been using to help rinse my mouth after I got my wisdom teeth out. Then I leaped onto the edge of the tub, almost losing my balance and dropped in the tub.  The ants wouldn’t be able to get at me under water and I used the straw to breathe through. Although they skated across the water, climbed up the straw, dropped down into my mouth, and ate me from the inside out.

Blog Challenge #2 Mitchell

3^rd Graders across America are Getting Stuck in Playground Slides

Who’s to Blame? 

                What started as a freak accident in a small elementary school in Alabama is now becoming a serious safety hazard for today’s youth. Incidents of kids being stuck in slides has now been reported in 37 states. Although many times the kids can escape with only minor injuries, it has left 13 students hospitalized and in critical condition. Doctors are saying the symptoms are like nothing they have ever seen. An ER surgeon at the meo clinic stated that “this problem is getting to big too fast and needs to be addressed at the federal level”. Sources say that Obama has been meeting with homeland security in an effort to resolve this so called attack on our youth.

                Discussions and speculations have broken out across America about who is to blame for this unprecedented problem. It appears that either slides have been getting smaller or children have been getting fatter. The CEO of “Slides R Us” (the leading producer of slides in America) made a public statement yesterday “we have been making slides the same for over 70 years. This has never been a problem and it is the fault of the fast food companies for fattening our youth”. However, “Slides R Us” production was outsourced to china last year. After investigation it has been discovered that the company has been slowly shrinking the diameter of their slides by 1mm a year to reduce product costs. Furthermore like all plastic products coming from China that are for our children, lead has been found. Usually this wouldn’t be a problem because kids would just be in contact with the lead for a short period of time but this is no longer the case. Before further actions can be made recess has officially been suspended in America.

                A thesis paper has surfaced, written by Morgan Spurlock, for his anti-McDonalds doctorate. He hypothesized that someday America would face this problem. Here is an excerpt from the paper

                “ one big mac at a time our youth will get fatter and fatter until someday they won’t

                be able to perform typical children activities.  I predict one day a particularly large kid

                will come out to recess after eating some McDonalds for lunch and much to his surprise

                he will become the first “playground plug”. Fully plugging the slide and becoming

                completely immobile. People won’t know what know what to do and in a matter of

                months playground plugs will be in every slide in America.”

               

                Morgan is currently at the white house working to pass a bill that will shut down all McDonalds. It appears the bill will pass soon because the country is united on the playground plug issue. Unfortunately the CEO of McDonalds has just stated that if the bill is brought to vote, they will immediately terminate their supply of French Fry grease to elementary schools, which at this point is the only substance that has been found to successfully free playground plugs from their slides. The country is trapped in a Catch-22 and McDonalds is having the last laugh.

                The Nation doesn’t know what to do. Recess has been cancelled for two weeks and 50% of America’s youth has thus lost their only daily exercise. Toys R Us has filed for bankruptcy and the Government is in too much debt to bail them out and to recall the slides in America. Morgan has fled to Canada and advises others to do so, as he expects things to only get worse.

               

Writing Challenge 1 Mitchell

Dear Bobby light,

                I don’t know where you are in life or what you’re up to but I thought I would write you. I got this kid, who volunteers at my retirement home, to help me look you up on the internet. I hope the address I got is correct and if so I’m jealous that you followed your dream and are living in Italy. Anyways after my recent 80^th birthday I couldn’t help but remiss about the fun times we use to have together as kids. Our crazy adventures we use to have.

                Summer was the best time of year! School was mostly a blur except for that one book that we actually read, Huckleberry Finn. Little did we know at the time the influence that book was going to have on our lives.

                The week after school was out in June I remember we decided that we wanted to live just as Huck did. We packed our bags and set off on our own Mississippi adventure. With our imaginations in hand we headed down the river. Within minutes we were lost. I took out the map I had packed but I did me no good. The map was outdated and the terrain must have shifted from the time the map was made. Travel pretty stop and go. Every so often we had to stop the boat and wait for little yellow duckys to cross the river. Within minutes we were the farthest from home we had ever been without our parents. The world seemed completely different. Tall trees filled the sky and blocked the sun. The shoreline was covered with busy ants that didn’t seem to care about anything but getting from point A to point B. The river filled with fish, beavers, and of course the yellow duckys.

                The river meandered around an open field where the sun was able to break through the trees. We pulled over to eat lunch and sat near this small waterfall. We were too young and unskilled to get food from the wild so we had packed a lunch from home. Peanut butter and Jelly, the only thing I could make.

                A couple hours after lunch the sun started to set and we began to get tired. We hadn’t really thought about where we would sleep at night. Our Huck Finn adventure was quickly coming to an end. As reality of the situation set in our imaginations wore off. We had to get home that night. So we walked a block over and with what little money I had, we take subway back home. That was some adventure, huh.

                Now as I look back on this day I envy the imagination I use to have. Mississippi or Manhattan it didn’t matter. I hope you get this letter and write back.

Sincerely,

Your old friend BB